Abusive relationships do not exist in a vacuum. Abusers exist at all income levels, even in high net-worth couples. It has been described as a crystal prison because high net-worth abusers often use money to trap their victims. And, sometimes, the Loudoun County victims think that once they leave that the abuse will end.
Will the abuse end at divorce?
The unfortunate answer is probably not. While you may not experience the same kind of physical abuse as you did during the marriage, abusers, usually, find new ways to abuse their soon-to-be ex-spouses. In fact, according to researchers, over 90% of abuse victims report ongoing victimization well after they leave, sometimes, happening decades after a divorce.
A common attribute of most abusers is that they take over the finances, and even if you had a great high-paying career, your spouse likely convinced you to leave it. They want you financially isolated and dependent on them. This will not change when you leave.
If you plan on using a credit card or bank account that is in your spouse’s name (even if it is a joint account), they will liquidate and close accounts immediately. They will try to have you taken off account the accounts. He may even try to take out multiple credit cards and loans in your name to cause your credit score to drop. If you planned on staying at a vacation or second property, they may change the electronic codes to all your properties to keep you out.
Speaking of locking you out; if you do not have a key or proof of residency, they may call the police on you too. If they find out about your escape plan, they could file a protective order against you before you are able. They could begin to file child abuse claims against you as well. They want to flip the script to make you the aggressor.
If you do not have access to your family’s finances, then your soon-to-be ex-spouse may begin to hide assets. Cryptocurrency has been a huge help to these wrongdoers as they can move cash into cryptocurrency that can then disappear. They may also begin making large purchases of illiquid assets, like artwork and antiques. This is an attempt to greatly reduce the cash available to split.
The key is planning
For our Washington, D.C., area readers, this post is not to make you feel hopeless. Instead, this post is to empower you with foreknowledge. Knowing what they will do empowers you to plan for it, and take steps to mitigate that potential, future abuse.