Divorce is rarely easy. But if your spouse is highly confrontational or struggles to tell the truth, then the process can be even more complicated and stressful. If you’re like a lot of individuals going through marriage dissolution, then you might be averse to conflict, which can drive you to try to find ways to resolve your divorce quickly without the need to go to court.
While these feelings are understandable, you should try to check your hesitation to fully engage in the process to ensure that you’re getting what you deserve out of it. Otherwise, hastily moving through your divorce could leave you in a position where you lose out on key assets that you need post-divorce, as well as with less time with your children than you want.
How can you reduce conflict in your divorce?
Even though it might seem like your divorce is destined for high conflict, there are steps that you can take to try to reduce it. Here are some tips for doing so:
- Modify your mode of communication: Face-to-face communication with your spouse can quickly devolve into heated exchanges that do nothing to move the ball forward in your case. Therefore, you might be able to reduce stress and have more productive conversations with your spouse if you utilize alternative modes of communication such as email, text message, or even apps that are out there to help facilitate this type of communication.
- Strike the right tone: Tone can direct the course of your communications with your spouse. If you come across aggressive, demeaning, or belittling, then your spouse is either going to respond in kind or they’re going to shut down. Neither will help you resolve your case in a favorable way while reducing conflict and stress. So, try to find a professional, business-like tone that allows you to firmly state your demands without coming across in an inflammatory way.
- Find an outlet: Our emotions often get the best of us in divorce, which is one of the main driving forces behind conflictual communications and positions. But you might be able to alleviate some of the tension in your divorce by finding another outlet. You can turn to family and friends to vent your frustrations and fears, but you shouldn’t overlook the value of support groups and mental health professionals, either.
- Focus on what’s important: When things start to get heated in your divorce, try to refocus the conversation on what’s important. That might be your children and their best interests, or it could be how you and your spouse are going to move onto your individual lives in a fair and financially stable fashion.
- Find easy wins: There’s going to be plenty that you and your spouse disagree on. By finding areas where you can agree, or even areas where you can allow your spouse to win, you can deflate any tension and conflict that may exist.
Confidently walk through your divorce
You’re going to have a lot to deal with as you try to untangle your life from your spouse’s. But you can take action to ensure that your interests are adequately protected and that you’re setting yourself up for the post-divorce life that you deserve.
Although the thought of that might leave you feeling stressed, education is power. So, by reading up on what you can expect from the marriage dissolution process, you might find yourself feeling more comfortable with your divorce and confident that you can reach a resolution that’s best for you.
