Custody disputes are often highly contentious. This tension is driven by differing parenting views and varying stances on what’s in the child’s best interests. And these fights can quickly turn personal, with each parent lobbing character attacks against the other in hopes that something will stick with the judge, causing them to rule in their favor. But while a child custody determination should be focused on the child’s best interests, sometimes the evidence is skewed when parental alienation is in play.
Through parental alienation, one parent tries to manipulate the child to damage their relationship with the other parent. The alienating parent then uses the child’s reactions as evidence to support their position in a child custody dispute. All too often, then, innocent parents are left with limited or no time with their children because the judge issues a restrictive custody order based on false or misconstrued information.
Fortunately, courts are becoming more receptive to arguments about parental alienation. But it’s up to you to raise the issue and present compelling evidence. So, if you suspect that parental alienation is a problem in your case, then you should be on the lookout for the following evidence:
- Your child unrelentingly and unjustifiably criticizes you: Many children who are alienated from their parent are led to believe false information about that parent. As a result, the child may harshly criticize that parent, whether it be for never understanding the child or for engaging in behavior that never occurred in the first place.
- Your child knows intimate details of your relationship with the other parent: If your child displays knowledge of information that really shouldn’t have been shared with them, then there’s a good chance that the other parent told it to your child in hopes of warping their perception of you.
- Your child uses language that doesn’t fit their age: When children are fed false information by an alienating parent, they tend to repeat it verbatim. So, if your child’s criticisms or opinions of you sound like they’re coming from someone much older, then they probably are.
- The other parent restricts your access: Some parents use their gatekeeping role to alienate the other parent. For example, the other parent might keep you in the dark about your child’s extracurricular activities or medical appointments. This, in turn, leaves the child with the perception that you don’t care enough about them to attend events that are important to them or to generally know what’s going on with them.
- The other parent intentionally creates scheduling conflicts: Another tactic used by alienating parents is to schedule a fun activity for the child at a time when you’re supposed to be with them. This forces you to either pull the child away from an activity that they want to enjoy or forego spending time with them. It’s a lose-lose situation for you, which is exactly what the other parent is hoping for.
There’s a lot at stake when parental alienation is occurring. Some experts view this manipulation as a form of child abuse, and it can have a profound impact on the relationship you have with your child. The good news is that you can protect them from those poor outcomes by gathering evidence and presenting convincing arguments to the court. We know this can be stressful to think about, but by being diligent and securing the help you need, there’s a good chance that you can find a way out of this mess while protecting your child’s best interests.
